Music and Grief
Music is one of the most powerful ways for us to feel it all. A happy song can lift our hearts up and warm our souls. A melancholy song fills us with longing and a steady ache for what is just out of reach. A gentle tune can bring an overwhelming sense of peace and stillness to us as we navigate the complexities of life. Music, with words or not, seems to speak the language of our souls, whatever the state of our souls may be. There is truly nothing else like it.
When I first lost my husband, my mind was a blur, with constant feelings and impressions weaving in and out of my heart and mind. Sleepless nights had me flooding my journal pages with unanswered questions and unresolved thoughts. One particular morning, I awoke with a song in my head that I had never before heard. It rolled on and on, and I was desperate to know my connection to it and its connection to me. It wasn’t until three weeks later, when driving my kids home from school, that I discovered the song outside of my head. It was the first time we had turned the radio up since the accident, and to my surprise, the familiar tune filled the car, and I was shocked. I was excited to listen to the words that I couldn’t place before. I quickly asked my kids, “What song is this?! I woke up to this song in my head right after Dad died. What is it?!” They told me. And the words were amazing. They were perfect, and so Rob-like. It was so simple, and oh so meaningful to me!
“Hold on to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you're not alone
'Cause I'm going to make this place your home
Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble, it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you're not alone
'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home…”
Home by Phillip Phillips
All the worries, all the demons that were filling me with fear, trying to drag me down, had a foe to
contend with. Rob! He was not going to leave us to battle this alone. We could hold onto him as
we went, as we rolled down this unfamiliar road. He was making heaven his home. Our home. I can’t tell you how many times I listened to it. Over and over, day after day. I hung onto it. I clung to it! I clung to him, Rob, to help us through it each and every day, knowing that one day we would all be home with him, and our Savior and God, together as a family.
Music soothed my soul and touched me in a way that nothing else could. I could feel my husband through it. Music can do the same for you. Let it be an outlet for you to know and feel your loved ones. Let it carry you and reach the depths of your soul that words cannot. It can help bring emotions to the surface. And while that can be scary, it can also be beautiful. Just as death is a part of life, moving forward is a part of grief. Allow music to take its course, and be a help in processing in a therapeutic way. You may be surprised by what you can feel.
