What Always Pulls Me Out of a Tough Moment
The spiral of a dark moment can take your breath away, and it can feel like it’ll never end, that things can never improve, and that time will never pass. And maybe you don’t want it to pass, which adds to the panic of the moment. But if I can offer any advice, it is to remember the good times.
Remembering the good times can certainly pull you out of the bad ones. Reminiscing on the fun that was had, and finding gratitude for the time that was shared, and the subsequent blessings that came from your relationship. These things seem to lift me out of the deepest moments of grief.
In my case, I lost a spouse. For me, I think about every intimate moment we shared along the way. From our first time meeting to having our first child. I even think of the heartaches and trials we shared, and how we managed to get through them and get back on top. Thinking of these experiences reminds me that even though I may currently be in the thick of grief, of life, of struggle, I can get through those moments now. In fact, WE can get through those moments. Just as we got through them, then.
And it does not matter what kind of relationship it is. My kids lost a father. My in-laws lost a son. My friends lost a supporter. My kids may envision the ball games he cheered hard at and the work ethic he instilled in them. His parents might ponder his graduation ceremonies and proudest moments. His friends will remember those small visits and favors he always had time for.
The list goes on and on. And that list will go on for you, as well. But every relationship has its own unique ups and downs. No one is perfect, and no one is met with perfection. We all face struggles, and that is just part of life. And although losing a loved one is a very big event, it is part of the cycle of life. And just as before, we struggle. And just as before, we get back on top again because tomorrow, the sun will rise, and it’ll be a brighter day, and we’ll be okay. We just have to navigate this one moment. We can and we will, because we are.
